Hagdan ng mga Dahilan

May mga oras na tumitigil ang mundo para sa atin
Oo, para sa atin lamang
Mga sandaling inaagos tayo ng ating mga reyalidad
Patungo sa isang madawag na paraiso

Nagkukumahog tayong mang-agaw
Samantalahin ang mga pagkakataong hibang
Sa dulo ng talukap ng ating mga mata
Binubuhay natin ang mga pangarap ng nakaraan

Nananatili tayong hayok sa mga sandaling iyon
At natatapos ang mabubuting hangarin
Dahil mas higit pa ang ating hangarin
Sa isa't isa.

Bagama't ganito
Natitigilan tayo
Dahil ninanais ng mundo
Ang reyalidad.

Hindi Ako Makapagsulat

Kahit ako ay nagtataka kung bakit aking mga post sa blog na ito ay hinggil sa pag-ibig.

Maiba naman...

May apat na taon na ang nakalipas mula nang isulat ko ang tula na ito. May nag-iisang tao lamang ang nakakakabisa nito, ginamit niya ito para sa isang tula-galaw na bilang para sa isang pangkulturang pagtatanghal. Nagulat ako sa pwersa ng mga salita at kumbinasyon ng teatro, kakaiba ito. Iyon nga lamang ay hindi pa kami muling nagkikita para makuha ko ang kabuuan ng aking tula. Ito ang aking sakit. Halos lahat ng aking mga tula ay ipinamimigay ko at hindi ako nakapagtatabi ng kopya. Madalas ay panregalo, kung minsan ay pampsaya (o pampaiyak). Kung minsan ay para maaantig ang natutulog na damdaming progresibo, minsan ay para mapanatili ang alaala ng mga mahahalagang bagay. o kaya naman ay makapagsabi ng nadarama gaya ng galit o pag-ibig. 

Kinakalawang na din ako. Ni hindi ako makapagsulat ng limang tula para isali sa isang napipintong palihan sa Pamantasan. Kaya heto muna ang unang installment ng aking tula na pati ang titulo ay hindi ko na tanda.

Isinilang kitang suhi sa gitna ng ating pananghalian

Tikom ang iyong mga palad at duguan ang iyong buong katawan

Pinuno mo ng iyak ang silid-kapangakan

Hinawakan kita’t maingat na hinagkan

Ikaw ang aking anak, ang pinakamamahal kong anak

Matikas kang sanggol ngunit labis na mabait

Sa mga araw ng kagutuman ay inuugoy ako ng iyong mga ngiti

Mahirap mang itaguyod ang kasaganahan

Niyayakap mo ako na tila iyong nauunawaan an gating kalagayan,

Ikaw ang aking anak, ang pinakamamahal kong anak.

A Song from the Film - Love in the Time of Cholera- based on the book by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Pienso en ti

Cada dia pienso en ti
pienso un poco mas en ti
despedazo mi corazon
se destruye algo de mi.

Cada dia pienso en ti
pienso un poco mas en ti.

Cada vez que sale el sol
busco un algo de valor
para continuar asi
y te veo asi no te toque
rezo por ti cada noche
amanece y pienso en ti
y retumba en mis oidos
el tic-tac de los relojes
y sigo pensando en ti
y sigo pensando...

I think of you

Every day I think of you,
I think a little more of you.
I tear my reasoning into pieces,
ruining some part of myself.

Every day I think of you,
I think a little more of you.

Every time the sun sets,
I look for a little bit of courage
to go on like this,
and I see you this way, don't touch you,
I pray for you every night.
Dawn breaks and I think of you
and the tick-tock of the clocks
echoes in my ears,
And I keep thinking of you
And I keep thinking...

Some words worth saying...

Once upon a time
I wanted to know what love was
Love is there if you want it to be
You just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty
Hidden away between the seconds of your life
If you don't stop for a minute
You might miss it.

--- from the movie Cashback

Chances

-definition: a good time to act stupid, cry your heart out and believe in the impossible.

Ang Gabing Ito

Malakas ang aking pakiramdam

At nadarama ko 

Ang pangungulila

Na hindi ako ang sanhi

Muli, naghalungkat na naman ako sa aking kublihan

Ng mga awiting puro salita

Nangungusap sa kalawakan

Na ako'y hulugan ng sariling tala

PS Maaari mo naman akong kausapin ng deretsahan

Walang Pagpipilit

Mula noong mag-resign ako mula sa pagiging alipin, muling nagbago ang lahat.

Ngayon, kahit nagtatrabaho ako ng higit sa sampung oras at kahit nangangapa ako sa bagong trabaho, mas nararamdaman ko ang halaga ng aking pagakatao.

Hindi na ako nagmumukhang ng salapi.

Nakakatawa na akong muli gaya ng dati.

Napapadpad sa iba't ibang lugar.

Nagiging mas palaisip.

At higit sa lahat, kahit paano ay nakakapaglingkod na akong muli sa kapwa tao.

Walang pagpipilit, dumarating ang mga pangangailangan gaya ng kaibigan, karanasan, katatawanan, kwentuhang mahahaba at kung anu-ano pa.

Places: March, April, May 2012

Macau

Caramoan, Camarines Sur

Subic International Hotel, SBMA, Zambales

Muy Bien Event para kay Nat'l Artist Bien Lumbera
UP Diliman

La Mesa Eco Park

Punta De Fabian, Baras, Rizal

(Together with Undersecretary Proceso Domingo of the Office of Civil Defense)
Holiday Inn Galleria Manila, Ortigas

Pagtatapos

Ngayon na ang panahon para iwan ko na ang telepono.
Paalam na sa kahon.

Ang paborito kong tula

(Ang kagandahan sa tula na ito, mas namamayani ang pakikipag-usap niya sa kapwa babae. Totoong in-love siya pero paano kung hindi? Paano kung naisulat niya ito para sa isang lalaki na hindi niya nakatuluyan? Maari ding masabi na baka galit siya sa lalaki na pinatutungkulan nito dahil hindi naabot ng lalaki ang standards niya. Puwede namang hindi lamang ang pag-ibig ang pagtuunan ng pansin dahil ang estetika ng tula ay may mas higit na mensaheng ipinapaabot sa mga kababaihan- o baka isinusulat ko lang din ito dahil wala akong sinisinta ngayon at nag-aasta na naman akong intelektwal sa pag-ibig, hahaha. Maganda ang tula na ito dahil sa malalim na kaugnayan nito sa buhay na tinahak ni Gioconda Belli, isang manunulang taga-Nicaragua at manunulat na nakikibaka sa kanilang panahon. Kaya heto na kabaro, hayaan mong kausapin ka ng tula na ito.)

The Man Who Loves Me by Gioconda Belli

The man who loves me should know how to part curtains
of flesh
Fathom my eye’s depths
And know that in me nestles
A tender, transparent swallow.

The man who loves me
Will not covet me like a commodity
Nor exhibit me like a sportsman’s trophy
He will stand by me
Loving me just as I love and stand by him.

The man who loves me
Will be strong as the ceibo trees
Solid and sheltering as they are,
Clear as a December morning.

The man who loves me
Will not distrust my smile
Nor fear my hair’s profusion.
He will respect sorrow, silence.
And with caresses, he will play upon my stomach,
As on a guitar, making pleasure issue from
my body’s recesses.

The man who loves me
Will discover I can be
A hammock on which to rest his burdens and cares.
A friend with whom to share intimate secrets.
A lake on which to float,
Without fear that the anchor of his commitment
Will prevent flight
Should it occur to him to be a bird.

The man who loves me
Will make poetry of his life
Structuring each day
With his gaze set on the future

But above all else
The man who loves me must love people
Not as some abstract category
Mentioned carelessly
But as something real, concrete
To whom one show devotion through actions
Giving up one’s life if required.

The man who loves me
Will recognize my face in the midst of a battle
And with knee bent to the earth,
he will love me
As the two of us fire together at the enemy.

My man in love
Will not fear giving himself
Nor fear finding himself magically smitten.
In a plaza filled with great crowds,
He will be able to shout “I Love You”
Or make extravagant announcements on top of buildings
Proclaiming his right to feel
The most beautiful and human emotion.

My man in love
Will not flee kitchens
Nor the diapers of our child
His love will be like a refreshing breeze
Carrying away among mists of dream and the past
Weakness that, for centuries kept us divided,
As beings of different worth.

My man in love
Will not want to stereotype and standardize me
He will give me air, space
Nourishment to grow and improve
Like a REVOLUTION
Which makes each new day
The beginning of a NEW VICTORY

Vietnam

Cambodia

Being different makes you no less than the others.

!

Bring it on 2012...

Samson

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

Name Game in November 23

Death is you
Death is who
Death starts with an A
Ends with an N.

An enormous lie
A bag of money
Decays of flesh
Pencils, pens and cameras
Widows and orphans
Husbands and wives
A sister
A brother
A cousin
A friend
Lost.

Death is you
Death is who
Life starts with justice
And justice is still denied

Death is who
May Death be with you
Starts with an A
Ends with an N.

--- end impunity. Justice for the victims of Maguindanao Massacre!

What happened next?

Excerpts from the book Ignorance by Milan Kundera

I imagine the feelings of two people meeting again after many years. In the past they spent some time together, and therefore they think they are linked by the same experience, the same recollections. The same recollections? That's where the misunderstanding starts: they don't have the same recollections; each of them retains two or three small scenes from the past, but each has his own; their recollections are not similar; they don't intersect; and even in terms of quantity they are not comparable: one person remembers the other more than he is remembered; first because memory capacity varies among individuals (an explanation that each of them would at  least find acceptable), but also (and this is more painful) because they don't  hold the same importance for each other. When Irena saw Josef at the airport, she remembered every detail of their long-ago adventure; Josef remembered nothing. From the very first moment their encounter was based on an unjust and revolting inequality.

Page 126

Sa aking pamilya

Ang taon na ito ay sa atin.

Taon ng muling pagbalik

at pag-alis

Pagpapamilya

Pag-aaral

Oportunidad

Mga bagong tahanan

Pagtatapos

Trabaho

at marami pang iba

Pagsasara  ng mga nakapinid na alaala

at pagtanaw sa hinaharap

Ang taon na ito ay sa atin

at lagi natin itong iisipin

Taon ng tagumpay

at ilang kabiguan

Ngunit hindi kailanman sumusuko

Dahil tayo'y nasanay na

sa  mga pagsubok

na hanggang ngayon

Ay hindi tayo kayang gapiin.

Ang taon na ito ay sa atin.

Sa iyo at sa akin

At umpisa nang mas maraming pang taon.

ng pagsisikap

ng pagkakaisa

at pagdiriwang.

Song number 1

Landslide 
Songwriters: Nicks, Stevie;

Took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes bolder, children get older
I'm getting older too, well


Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes bolder, children get older
I'm getting older too, well, I'm getting older too

So take this love and take it down
Yeah, and if you climb a mountain and you turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide brought down

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well maybe, well maybe, well maybe
The landslide will bring you down